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Boundaries in Marriage (Leader's Guide)

Paperback|Aug 2002
Product Rating: 5(5)

$55.00

Improve your relationship with your spouse! Gain life-changing insights on: -What boundaries are, why they're vital to a healthy marriage, and how each partner can establish them-How values form the structure and architecture of marriage-How to protect your marriage from...

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Improve your relationship with your spouse! Gain life-changing insights on: -What boundaries are, why they're vital to a healthy marriage, and how each partner can establish them-How values form the structure and architecture of marriage-How to protect your marriage from intruders, whether other people or personal idols-How to work with a spouse who understands and values boundaries--and a spouse who doesn'tIt Takes Two Individuals to Become One FleshOnly when a husband and wife know and respect each other's needs, choices, and freedom can they give themselves freely and lovingly to one another. Boundaries in Marriage gives the couples in your group the tools they need. By applying the powerful biblical and relational principles presented in this ZondervanGroupware (TM), couples can make a good marriage better and even save one that's headed for disaster.This leader's guide gives you the clear, step-by-step instructions you need to maximize interaction, support, and insights within yo
-Publisher

Boundaries in Marriage Leader''s GuideCopyright 2002 by Henry Cloud and John TownsendRequests for information should be addressed to:Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530ISBN-10: 0-310-24614-8ISBN-13: 978-0-310-24614-5All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible: New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan.All rights reserved.All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmittedin any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other-except for briefquotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.Published in association with Yates & Yates, LLP, Attorneys and Counselors, Suite 1000, Literary Agent,Orange, CA.Interior design by Rob MonacelliPrinted in the United States of America05 06 07 08 09 10 - 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3Session One What''s a Boundary?BEFORE YOU LEADKey Points- Love is at the heart of marriage, but it is not enough. The marriage relationshipneeds other ingredients to grow and thrive. These ingredients are freedom andresponsibility.- For intimacy in marriage to develop and grow, there must be boundaries.- In the simplest sense, a boundary is a property line. It denotes the beginningand the end of something.- If I know where the boundaries are in our relationship, I know who "owns" thingssuch as feelings, attitudes, and behaviors. I know to whom they "belong." And ifthere is a problem with one of those, I know to whom the problem belongs aswell.- When spouses are free to not react to each other, each takes responsibility for hisor her own issues and loves the other person even when he or she does notdeserve it. Free from each other''s control, each gives love to the other freely,and that love transforms the individuals and produces growth in their marriage.- Words (especially the word no), truth about God and about who you are, consequences,emotional distance, geographical distance, other people, and time (asin "time away from") are some examples of boundaries.- We are responsible for our feelings, attitudes, beliefs, behaviors, choices,thoughts, values, limits, talents, desires, and love, all of which lie within ourboundaries.SynopsisMarriage is about love. It is being bound together by the care, need, companionship,and values of two people, which can overcome hurt, immaturity, and selfishnessto form something better than what each person alone can produce. Yetwhile love is at the heart of marriage, it is not enough. The marriage relationshipneeds other ingredients to grow and thrive. These ingredientsare freedom and responsibility.While many things go into producing and maintaining love, overand over again one issue is at the top of the list: boundaries. Whenboundaries break down, marriages break down as well. For intimacy todevelop and grow, there must be boundaries. In the simplest sense, aboundary is a property line. If I know where the boundaries are in ourrelationship, I know who "owns" things such as feelings, attitudes, andbehaviors. I know to whom they "belong." And if there is a problemwith one of those feelings, attitudes, or behaviors, I know to whom theproblem belongs as well.A marriage relationship requires that each partner have a sense ofownership of himself or herself. The first way in which clarifyingboundaries helps us is to define where one person ends and the otherbegins. What is the problem, and where is it? Is it in you, or is it in me?If we can see that the problem is our problem and that we are responsiblefor it, then we are in the driver''s seat of change.Freedom, responsibility, and love-something incredible happensas these three ingredients of relationship work together. As love grows,spouses become freer from the things that enslave: self-centeredness,sinful patterns, past hurts, and other self-imposed limitations. Theygain a
-Publisher

Boundaries in Marriage Leader's Guide Copyright 2002 by Henry Cloud and John Townsend Requests for information should be addressed to: Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530 ISBN-10: 0-310-24614-8 ISBN-13: 978-0-310-24614-5 All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible: New International Version . NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other-except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher. Published in association with Yates & Yates, LLP, Attorneys and Counselors, Suite 1000, Literary Agent, Orange, CA. Interior design by Rob Monacelli Printed in the United States of America 05 06 07 08 09 10 - 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 Session One What's a Boundary? BEFORE YOU LEAD Key Points - Love is at the heart of marriage, but it is not enough. The marriage relationship needs other ingredients to grow and thrive. These ingredients are freedom and responsibility. - For intimacy in marriage to develop and grow, there must be boundaries. - In the simplest sense, a boundary is a property line. It denotes the beginning and the end of something. - If I know where the boundaries are in our relationship, I know who "owns" things such as feelings, attitudes, and behaviors. I know to whom they "belong." And if there is a problem with one of those, I know to whom the problem belongs as well. - When spouses are free to not react to each other, each takes responsibility for his or her own issues and loves the other person even when he or she does not deserve it. Free from each other's control, each gives love to the other freely, and that love transforms the individuals and produces growth in their marriage. - Words (especially the word no), truth about God and about who you are, consequences, emotional distance, geographical distance, other people, and time (as in "time away from") are some examples of boundaries. - We are responsible for our feelings, attitudes, beliefs, behaviors, choices, thoughts, values, limits, talents, desires, and love, all of which lie within our boundaries. Synopsis Marriage is about love. It is being bound together by the care, need, companionship, and values of two people, which can overcome hurt, immaturity, and selfishness to form something better than what each person alone can produce. Yet while love is at the heart of marriage, it is not enough. The marriage relationship needs other ingredients to grow and thrive. These ingredients are freedom and responsibility. While many things go into producing and maintaining love, over and over again one issue is at the top of the list: boundaries. When boundaries break down, marriages break down as well. For intimacy to develop and grow, there must be boundaries. In the simplest sense, a boundary is a property line. If I know where the boundaries are in our relationship, I know who "owns" things such as feelings, attitudes, and behaviors. I know to whom they "belong." And if there is a problem with one of those feelings, attitudes, or behaviors, I know to whom the problem belongs as well. A marriage relationship requires that each partner have a sense of ownership of himself or herself. The first way in which clarifying boundaries helps us is to define where one person ends and the other begins. What is the problem, and where is it? Is it in you, or is it in me? If we can see that the problem is our problem and that we are responsible for it, then we are
-Publisher

PRODUCT DETAIL
  • Catalogue Code 195570
  • Product Code 0310246148
  • EAN 9780310246145
  • UPC 025986246143
  • Pages 160
  • Department Ministry
  • Category Ministry Resources
  • Sub-Category Courses
  • Publisher Zondervan
  • Publication Date Aug 2002
  • Dimensions 279 x 216 x 12mm
  • Weight 0.431kg

Henry Cloud

Dr. Cloud is a clinical psychologist with a unique ability to connect with his audiences. Drawing upon his broad range of experiences in private practice, leadership consulting, and media, he simplifies life's issues and gives easy-to-understand, practical advice. It is Dr. Cloud's humour, compassion, and 'in the moment' confrontation that make his approach to psychology and spirituality such a success.

He has written or co-written 19 books, including the best-selling Boundaries. His most recent books are Integrity, Necessary Endings and The Law of Happiness. He has earned three Gold Medallion awards and was awarded the distinguished Retailers Choice award for God Will Make A Way.

Dr. Cloud has appeared on numerous radio and television broadcasts and has been featured in many publications. Millions of listeners have benefited from his wit and wisdom for over a decade.

As president of Cloud-Townsend Resources, he has produced and conducted hundreds of public seminars around the country. He speaks on relationships - marriage, parenting, dating, personal growth, and spirituality. His seminars are often broadcast live to over two thousand venues at a time.

In his consulting practice, he works with leaders of organisations and corporations, from family-held firms to Fortune 25 companies and non-profit organisations. With his extensive executive coaching background and experience as an organisational and leadership consultant, he speaks regularly at corporate and leadership events held across the United States and internationally.

Dr. Cloud co-founded a health-care company that operated treatment centres in 35 cities in the Western United States; he served as Clinical Co-Director for ten years. In that context of hands-on clinical experience, he researched and developed many of the treatment methods and principles he communicates to audiences today. Since then, he has devoted his time to spreading principles of hope and life change through speaking, writing, and the media. His books have sold over four million copies.

He is a graduate of Southern Methodist University, having earned a BS in psychology with honours. He completed his PhD in clinical psychology at Biola University and his clinical internship at Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health. His philanthropic interests lie in the area of homelessness and the inner city, as well as Third World missions and development. He serves on the board of the Los Angeles Mission, a rescue mission on Skid Row in downtown Los Angeles.

Dr. Cloud is an avid golfer and enjoys boating, deep sea fishing and scuba diving. He lives in Los Angeles.

John Townsend

Dr. John Townsend (Psy.D., Rosemead Graduate School of Psychology) is a psychologist, popular speaker, radio host and the bestselling author and co-author of numerous books, including the Gold Medallion award-winning Boundaries and God Will Make a Way. He is co-founder of the Cloud-Townsend Clinic in Southern California.

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  • Contents Love Is Not Enough 7 Laying The Foundation This Kit Contains 9 How This Leader's Guide Is Organized 9 A Note About Timing 11 Before The First Session 11 Tips For Leading Group Discussions 12 Session 1 What's A Boundary, Anyway? 13 Session 2 Applying The Ten Laws Of Boundaries To Marriage 27 Session 3 Setting Boundaries With Yourself 53 Session 4 Values One And Two: Love Of God And Love Of Spouse 71 Session 5 Values Three And Four: Honesty And Faithfulness 89 Session 6 Values Five And Six: Compassion And Forgiveness, And Holiness 103 Session 7 Resolving Conflict In Marriage 117 Session 8 Some Warning Signs To Help Your Marriage 133

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