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Don't Stop Laughing Now

Paperback|Dec 2001
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This wonderfully day-brightening collection of crisp jokes, short stories and true-life anecdotes includes contributions from Barbara Johnson, Patsy Clairmont, Luci Swindoll, Sheila Walsh, Marilyn Meberg, Karen Scalf Linamen and more.

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This wonderfully day-brightening collection of crisp jokes, short stories and true-life anecdotes includes contributions from Barbara Johnson, Patsy Clairmont, Luci Swindoll, Sheila Walsh, Marilyn Meberg, Karen Scalf Linamen and more.

The best of the best--stories, one-liners, and jokes from some of today's funniest Christian speakers and bestselling writers This new book, like its bestselling predecessors, is packed with the kind of smiles and smirks, chuckles and giggles that thousands of readers have come to love and expect. It includes some of the funniest stories from today's Christian writers like Barbara Johnson, John Ortberg, Mark Buchanan, Patsy Clairmont, Becky Freeman, Chonda Pierce, and more. Whether the topic is kids, marriage, pets, church, parenting, aging, or life's most embarrassing moments, the writers will help you keep life in perspective by revealing their own foibles, follies, and failings. Realizing that laughter and faith can go hand in hand, they offer real-life anecdotes that will keep your world in balance even--and especially--when life gets tough.

ContentsAcknowledgments / 9Preface / 11Chapter One: Psst . . . Has Anyone Seena Table I Can Crawl Under?Humbled by a Pine Tree by Stan Toler / 17The Almond Joy Incident by Cathy Lee Phillips / 19Icebreaker SOS by Sheri Rose Shepherd / 23A Complete Ensemble by Torry Martin as told to Martha Bolton / 25Awkward Situations by Becky Freeman with Ruthie Arnold / 26Chapter Two: I''m Okay . . . You, I''m Not So Sure AboutThe Perfect Woman by Anonymous / 31Adam''s Bargain by Anonymous / 32Read My Lips by Karen Scalf Linamen / 33Women Tell What They Want in a Man by Anonymous / 35They Need Help! by Thelma Wells / 37The Loving Spouse by Anonymous / 39Really Bad Day by Anonymous / 40Steaming in the Southwest by Charlene Ann Baumbich / 41Chapter Three: You Can''t Kid a KidThe Revised Nonstandard Bible by Richard Lederer / 49Struck by Wimpiness by Anonymous / 53Just Kidding Around by Various Authors / 54Love Tips as Explained by Kids by Anonymous / 61I''ll Catch a Later Bus by Al Sanders / 65Chapter Four: "Weird" Is a Two-Way StreetIf You Could Read My Mind by G. Ron Darbee / 69Celebrity Cover-Up by Martha Bolton / 74Two Cannibals in Love by Charlene Ann Baumbich / 75For 25 Years I Hated My Mop by Janice Crouse / 77Wild Hares by Ken Davis / 80High Adventure in the Garage by Charlene Ann Baumbich / 83Pulling Strings by Patsy Clairmont / 86Snore Warzzz by Nancy Kennedy / 87No Batteries Required by Karen Scalf Linamen / 89Chapter Five: Keeping Up (Strange) AppearancesBeauty for the Beast by Marti Attoun / 93Nightmare on Perfect Street by Betty Smartt Carter / 95I''m Surrounded by Teens with Uncommon Scents / 99by Marti AttounLike Death Warmed Over by Becky Freeman with Ruthie Arnold / 101Yo Quiero No Discount by Martha Bolton / 106Chapter Six: Animal Antics:Weird Humor from the Animal KingdomHe''s Baaaaaack! by Ken Davis / 111When in Rome by Shari MacDonald / 112The Perfect Song by Sue Buchanan / 113Welcome to the Bat Cave by Nate Adams / 115The Polite Parrot by Anonymous / 118Chapter Seven: Body of LaughterI Yam What I Yam by Martha Bolton / 121Mommyrobics by Nancy Kennedy / 123A Diet Prayer by Victor Buono / 126Counting Fat Grams by Chonda Pierce / 128Chapter Eight: Parenting, the Funniest Job of AllLamentations of the Father by Ian Frazier / 135Deck the Halls with Poison Ivy by G. Ron Darbee / 139Surprise, Surprise! by Barbara Johnson / 143Picky, Picky by Nancy Kennedy / 146The Great Toaster Tart Conspiracy by Randy Frame / 148Chapter Nine: Real Men Do LaughDental Advice by Mark Lowry / 153How to Have a Relationship with a Guy by Dave Barry / 155Airplane Babies by Mark Lowry / 158Mr. Mom by James R. Judge, M.D. / 160Chapter Ten: Hey, Moms Are Fun Too!Help! I''ve Got TMS! by Nancy Kennedy / 167Mama''s On Hold by Mark Lowry / 169Hello by Patsy Clairmont / 171And Her Husband Thought He Had a Stressful Job / 173by Phil CallawayFree at Last? by Pamela Shires Sneddon / 174Chapter Eleven: Seize the Moment . . . for LaughterI Dare You by Luci Swindoll / 179Did I See That? by Marilyn Meberg / 181Garth and Pat by Chonda Pierce / 183You Drive Me Crazy by Marilyn Meberg / 185Playful Peopleby Marilyn Meberg / 188Chapter Twelve: Hee, Hee, Hee . . . All the Way HomeHey, Good Lookin'', Whatcha Got Burnin''? by Becky Freeman / 193Young Love Turns Daughter into Teen Cleaning Machine / 195by Marti AttounHousehold Skullduggery by Renae Bottom / 197Home Beautiful by Marsha Crockett / 200The Fashion Plate on My Front Yard by Marti Attoun / 202Chapter Thirteen: A Woman''s Place Is . . . LaughingPMS: Psychotic Mood Swings by Kathy Peel / 207Mixed Blessings by Anonymous / 210A Fun Day Composting with Martha Stewart / 211by Chonda PierceNever Underestimate the Power of an Imperfect Woman / 215by Karen Scalf LinamenThat Old Sew-and-Sew by Marilyn Meberg / 218Chapter Fourteen: Life Is Unpredictable, but God Is GoodGod''s Timing by Brennan Manning / 223I Could Lose Myself in Thought, but Then Again, / 224It''s Such Unfamiliar Territory by Sue BuchananWhat''s in a Name? by Thelma Well

A sequel to She Who Laughs, Lasts, this book offers the same winning recipe, blending laughter and inspiration, to whip up a delicious blend of fun and faith for readers hungry for more. Contributors include a variety of male and female authors, the most hilarious of whom are Barbara Johnson, Patsy Clairmont, Chonda Pierce, and Becky Freeman.

  • Catalogue Code 171786
  • Product Code 0310239966
  • EAN 9780310239963
  • UPC 025986239961
  • Pages 239
  • Department General Books
  • Category Inspirational
  • Sub-Category General
  • Publisher Zondervan
  • Publication Date Dec 2001
  • Sales Rank 28637
  • Dimensions 211 x 144 x 17mm
  • Weight 0.281kg

Shari MacDonald (Editor)

Shari MacDonald recently ran toward love with arms outstretched. Thankfully, the object of her affections did not flee, and as a result she is the happily married wife of photojournalist Craig Strong. The newlyweds live in Portland, Oregon, with their escape-artist dog, Ellie, who likes to run toward cats with paws outstretched. Shari is a best-selling author of several inspirational romances, including Sierra, Forget-Me-Not, Diamonds, and Stardust.

Barbara Johnson

Barbara Johnson, known as "the Geranium Lady" sold more than five million books, including Splashes of Joy in the Cesspools of Life, Living Somewhere Between Estrogen and Death, and Stick a Geranium in Your Hat and Be Happy and her latest book Humour Me, I'm Over the Hill, part of her more recent, Humour Me series. In 2005 she was awarded the prestigious Lifetime Achievement Award by the Evangelical Christian Publishers Association. Barbara and her husband served hurting families through their non-profit "Spatula Ministries" and as a popular "Woman of Faith" conference speaker she delivered comforting, humour-filled messages across America. Barbara died in 2007 and is survived by her sons David and Dean, former daughter-in-law Shannon, and two grandchildren, Kandee and Tiffany.- Publisher.

Ann Spangler (Ed)

Ann Spangler is the author of many bestselling books, including Praying the Names of God, Praying the Names of Jesus, and Women of the Bible (with Jean Syswerda). An award-winning author, Ann's books appeal to a broad spectrum of readers interested in honestly exploring the connection between spiritual experience and everyday life. She and her two daughters live in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Luci Swindoll

Luci Swindoll is author of Celebrating Life and a co-author of various Women of Faith devotionals. She has served as a business executive of Mobil Oil Corporation and as vice president with Insight for Living.

Becky Freeman

Becky Freeman is an award-winning, best-selling author, national speaker and humor columnist, and a certified teacher and recent recipient of the Texas AandM Alumni Award in education for her contribution to the world of children's learning. Her many books include Mom's Everything Book for Daughters, Mom's Everything Book for Sons, Help! I'm Turning into My Mother, Milk and Cookies to Make You Smile, and Lemonade Laughter and Laidback Joy. Becky lives in Highlands Ranch, Colorado.

Karen Scalf Linamen

Karen Linamen is the author or coauthor of seven books, including Pillow Talk and Happily Ever After. Two of her books have received recognition as finalists for the ECPA Gold Medallion Award. A contributing editor for Today's Christian Woman magazine and author of more than one hundred magazine articles, Linamen is a frequent speaker at churches, women's retreats, and writers' conferences.

Thelma Wells

Thelma Wells is a popular author, speaker and businesswoman. As an African-American woman, Thelma was instrumental in bringing racial diversity to the Women of Faith conferences. Thelma has had her own television show, been an assistant vice president of a bank, and an inspirational public speaker/business consultant. SPANISH BIO: Thelma Wells es una conferencista popular de Women of Faith (Mujeres de fe) y presidenta de A Women of God Minsitries(Ministerios de una mujer de Dios) de Dallas, Texas. Ha recibido mas de doscientos galardones por participacion civica en la comunidad, en la iglesia

Marilyn Meberg

Marilyn Meberg is a captivating speaker who shares the gospel through her hilarious tales and heart-touching stories. The author of several books including I'd Rather Be Laughing and Choosing the Amusing. Marilyn taught for 10 years at Biola University, later earning a master's degree in counselling pyschology and launched a second career focussed on helping people with hurting souls. A vibrant speaker with the phenomenally popular Women of Faith Conferences. She lives in Palm Desert, California

Patsy Clairmont

Patsy Clairmont comes from an uncommon background. Her years of suffering as a prisoner in her own home, a victim of agoraphobia, have given her a deep appreciation of God's healing power. God has pulled together the emotionally fragmented pieces of her life. From her emotionally troubled background God has combined her humor and her knowledge of His word to remind you that imperfect, "cracked" Christians are God's specialty.
Patsy now travels throughout the U.S. providing humor for the heart and hope for the healing. Currently, she is a speaker with the Women of Faith conferences, speaking to tens of thousands of women each month. In her eleven years with Women of Faith she has reached over 3 million women.

Patsy is also the author of the best-selling books God Uses Cracked Pots; Normal is Just a Setting on Your Dryer; Under His Wings; Sportin' a 'Tude; Tea with Patsy Clairmont and Pillow Prayers.

Chonda Pierce

Chonda Pierce is a speaker, comedian, author, singer, preacher's daughter, wife, and mother of two. She is author of It's Always Darkest Before the Fun Comes Up and I Can See Myself in His Eyeballs, and she has performed on more than a dozen recordings. Chonda lives in Murfreesboro, Tennessee with her husband and two children. Visit her website at

Sheila Walsh

Freedom is something Sheila Walsh holds dear because she knows what it means to be bound by depression and fear. The author of multiple best-selling books for adults and children, including the Gigi series; God Little Princess series, Sheila is also a Grammy-nominated singer. Before joining Women of Faith, she co-hosted television's The 700 Club and had her own talk show "Heart to Heart with Sheila Walsh". Sheila lives in Texas with husband Barry, son Christian, and a menagerie of furry friends.

  • Contents
  • Acknowledgments / 9
  • Preface / 11
  • Chapter One: Psst . . . Has Anyone Seen
  • A Table I Can Crawl Under?
  • Humbled By A Pine Tree By Stan Toler / 17
  • The Almond Joy Incident By Cathy Lee Phillips / 19
  • Icebreaker Sos By Sheri Rose Shepherd / 23
  • A Complete Ensemble By Torry Martin As Told To Martha Bolton / 25
  • Awkward Situations By Becky Freeman With Ruthie Arnold / 26
  • Chapter Two: I'm Okay . . . You, I'm Not So Sure About
  • The Perfect Woman By Anonymous / 31
  • Adam's Bargain By Anonymous / 32
  • Read My Lips By Karen Scalf Linamen / 33
  • Women Tell What They Want In A Man By Anonymous / 35
  • They Need Help! By Thelma Wells / 37
  • The Loving Spouse By Anonymous / 39
  • Really Bad Day By Anonymous / 40
  • Steaming In The Southwest By Charlene Ann Baumbich / 41
  • Chapter Three: You Can't Kid A Kid
  • The Revised Nonstandard Bible By Richard Lederer / 49
  • Struck By Wimpiness By Anonymous / 53
  • Just Kidding Around By Various Authors / 54
  • Love Tips As Explained By Kids By Anonymous / 61
  • I'll Catch A Later Bus By Al Sanders / 65
  • Chapter Four: 'weird' Is A Two-way Street
  • If You Could Read My Mind By G. Ron Darbee / 69
  • Celebrity Cover-up By Martha Bolton / 74
  • Two Cannibals In Love By Charlene Ann Baumbich / 75
  • For 25 Years I Hated My Mop By Janice Crouse / 77
  • Wild Hares By Ken Davis / 80
  • High Adventure In The Garage By Charlene Ann Baumbich / 83
  • Pulling Strings By Patsy Clairmont / 86
  • Snore Warzzz By Nancy Kennedy / 87
  • No Batteries Required By Karen Scalf Linamen / 89
  • Chapter Five: Keeping Up (strange) Appearances
  • Beauty For The Beast By Marti Attoun / 93
  • Nightmare On Perfect Street By Betty Smartt Carter / 95
  • I'm Surrounded By Teens With Uncommon Scents / 99
  • By Marti Attoun
  • Like Death Warmed Over By Becky Freeman With Ruthie Arnold / 101
  • Yo Quiero No Discount By Martha Bolton / 106
  • Chapter Six: Animal Antics:
  • Weird Humor From The Animal Kingdom
  • He's Baaaaaack! By Ken Davis / 111
  • When In Rome By Shari Macdonald / 112
  • The Perfect Song By Sue Buchanan / 113
  • Welcome To The Bat Cave By Nate Adams / 115
  • The Polite Parrot By Anonymous / 118
  • Chapter Seven: Body Of Laughter
  • I Yam What I Yam By Martha Bolton / 121
  • Mommyrobics By Nancy Kennedy / 123
  • A Diet Prayer By Victor Buono / 126
  • Counting Fat Grams By Chonda Pierce / 128
  • Chapter Eight: Parenting, The Funniest Job Of All
  • Lamentations Of The Father By Ian Frazier / 135
  • Deck The Halls With Poison Ivy By G. Ron Darbee / 139
  • Surprise, Surprise! By Barbara Johnson / 143
  • Picky, Picky By Nancy Kennedy / 146
  • The Great Toaster Tart Conspiracy By Randy Frame / 148
  • Chapter Nine: Real Men Do Laugh
  • Dental Advice By Mark Lowry / 153
  • How To Have A Relationship With A Guy By Dave Barry / 155
  • Airplane Babies By Mark Lowry / 158
  • Mr. Mom By James R. Judge, M.d. / 160
  • Chapter Ten: Hey, Moms Are Fun Too!
  • Help! I've Got Tms! By Nancy Kennedy / 167
  • Mama's On Hold By Mark Lowry / 169
  • Hello By Patsy Clairmont / 171
  • And Her Husband Thought He Had A Stressful Job / 173
  • By Phil Callaway
  • Free At Last? By Pamela Shires Sneddon / 174
  • Chapter Eleven: Seize The Moment . . . For Laughter
  • I Dare You By Luci Swindoll / 179
  • Did I See That? By Marilyn Meberg / 181
  • Garth And Pat By Chonda Pierce / 183
  • You Drive Me Crazy By Marilyn Meberg / 185
  • Playful People
  • By Marilyn Meberg / 188
  • Chapter Twelve: Hee, Hee, Hee . . . All The Way Home
  • Hey, Good Lookin', Whatcha Got Burnin'? By Becky Freeman / 193
  • Young Love Turns Daughter Into Teen Cleaning Machine / 195
  • By Marti Attoun
  • Household Skullduggery By Renae Bottom / 197
  • Home Beautiful By Marsha Crockett / 200
  • The Fashion Plate On My Front Yard By Marti Attoun / 202
  • Chapter Thirteen: A Woman's Place Is . . . Laughing
  • Pms: Psychotic Mood Swings By Kathy Peel / 207
  • Mixed Blessings By Anonymous / 210
  • A Fun Day Composting With Martha Stewart / 211
  • By Chonda Pierce
  • Never Underestimate The Power Of An Imperfect Woman / 215
  • By Karen Scalf Linamen
  • That Old Sew-and-sew By Marilyn Meberg / 218
  • Chapter Fourteen: Life Is Unpredictable, But God Is Good
  • God's Timing By Brennan Manning / 223
  • I Could Lose Myself In Thought, But Then Again, / 224
  • It's Such Unfamiliar Territory By Sue Buchanan
  • What's In A Name? By Thelma Wells / 226
  • And Edith With Them By Barbara Johnson / 230
  • Missing In Action By Patsy Clairmont / 232
  • A Mirror Image By Marilyn Meberg / 234
  • Is It Love . . . Or Is It The Flu? By Sheila Walsh / 236
  • I'm Alive! By Charlene Ann Baumbich / 239
  • Credits / 241

Don't Stop Laughing Now! Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. --- Lily Tomlin I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. --- Jennifer Unlimited If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. --- Catherine Aird Inevitably, the funniest stories are usually the ones we tell on ourselves. Sometimes these stories are downright embarrassing. But once we put away our punctured pride and dust off our damaged dignity, they can become an endless source of amusement. The ability to laugh at ourselves is surely a sign that all is well with our souls. Psst . . . Has Anyone Seen a Table I Can Crawl Under? Humbled by a Pine Tree Stan Toler Many years ago, I was privileged to serve as the first pastoral staff member of John Maxwell at Faith Memorial Church in Lancaster, Ohio. John, a noted author, lecturer, and former senior pastor of the Skyline Wesleyan Church, has been my mentor for more than twenty years. He has guided me in matters of leadership, preaching, evangelism, and church growth. And from time to time, John, who is an excellent golfer, has felt the need to mentor me in the great game of golf. On one rainy fall day many years ago in Lancaster, I was working on a project when the intercom buzzer sounded. 'Toler,' the booming voice of Maxwell said, 'let's play 18!' What a welcome diversion! I thought to myself. In a matter of minutes, we loaded our golf clubs into John's 1972 Ford Pinto and hurried to the nearby Carrollwood golf course. Since it was raining steadily, the course was not crowded and we were able to tee off immediately. For the first five holes, it appeared that the Maxwell Mentoring Course on golf was working. 'What a great game --- thanks for asking me to come along,' I said to John. As we approached the sixth tee box, I courageously asked John to loan me his three-wood. He was proud of his new clubs and most willing to share them with his prized pupil. I stepped up to the tee box and took a practice swing. Feeling ready, I swung mightily at the little white ball. To this day, I don't remember whether I actually hit that ball, but what I do remember is the club slipping out of my hands and sailing twenty feet into the air. Embarrassing? You bet! And if that wasn't humbling enough, the three-wood landed in a pine tree. Maxwell was in a state of utter disbelief. 'You just threw my new club into a tree!' he cried. 'How on earth are we going to get it down?' Mustering all the confidence I had, I said, 'Give me your shoe.' Obediently, John sat down on the cart and handed me his golf shoe. I carefully aimed his shoe at the club and gave it a mighty heave, expecting it to knock the club out of the pine tree. To my dismay, his shoe got stuck in the same tree. Undaunted, I said, 'Give me your other shoe.' Again, without arguing, John handed his other shoe to me. Taking better aim, I tossed his shoe at the club, and missed again! Can you believe it? The second shoe stayed in the tree also. As the drizzle started to become a downpour, Maxwell stood up and said, 'Toler, you big dummy! No, wait a minute --- I'm the dummy! Stan, give me your shoe!' In a spirit of cooperation --- and fear --- I took off my shoe and handed it to him. And why not? He had a three-wood and two golf shoes in that pine tree. Taking careful aim, he threw my shoe at the club. Up it went, approximately eighteen feet in the air, and missed everything. Feeling more confident, I picked up my shoe and tossed it at the club. It missed the club, but as it fell downward, it knocked one of John's shoes loose. In the process, however, my shoe got stuck in the tree. John immediately grabbed his shoe that had fallen to the ground and clutched it defensively. Now neither of us had a complete pair of shoes, and still the golf club was stuck in the tree. By this time, several other golfers had passed the sixth tee, observing this Laurel and Hardy comedy routine. Remarkably, most did not speak or offer to help us. (Can you blame them?) When every effort had failed in retrieving the golf club, my esteemed friend finally climbed the huge pine tree and personally retrieved the club and our shoes. At that point, it began to thunder, and the rain was coming down even harder. The only thing left to do was quit for the day and go to the clubhouse for hot chocolate. Feeling embarrassed and helpless, we drove rapidly across the course to the clubhouse. As John opened the door, the room became silent. And that's when paranoia instantly gripped us. Sure enough, the other golfers had told on us! As we stood in the doorway, laughter erupted like you've never heard. We shut the door, turned right around, and went straight home. And believe me, it was a long time before we played golf there again.

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