Humor For the Holidays
Celebrate the holidays^with the marvelous gift of^humor ^Holidays can be both fun and frustrating, can't they? All the chaos that goes with the holidays can make you grin or groan. What you need for happy holidays is to have your...
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Celebrate the holidays^with the marvelous gift of^humor ^Holidays can be both fun and frustrating, can't they? All the chaos that goes with the holidays can make you grin or groan. What you need for happy holidays is to have your stocking stuffed with tasty bits of humor. ^Imagine reaching into your stocking and finding a hilarious story by Patsy Clairmont, pulling out funny-bone ticklers by Martha Bolton, Jack Hayford, and Tim Wildmon, and discovering goodies to make you giggle by many other gifted writers. ^So grab a cup of wassail, curl up in your favorite chair, and indulge yourself with this heart-lifting book of holiday cheer -- it's stuffed full of special surprises to raise your spirits and add joy to your world ^
Contents Chapter 1: Christmas Is Coming, Tra-La, Tra-La... All I Want for Christmas Is a Parking Place-- Dave Barry The Best-Laid Plans-- Karen Scalf Linamen Thanksgiving Rolls Around, and So Do the Dishes-- Marti Attoun A Thanksgiving Recipe-- G. Ron Darbee Who Needs Cookbooks When You've Got a Phone?-- Marti Attoun On Wings Like Turkeys-- Chris Fabry Fowl Play! (How Not to Be a Turkey at the Thanksgiving Table)-- Marti Attoun When You Need a Little Christmas...Now-- Becky Freeman Shop 'Til You Drop-- Karen Scalf Linamen Chapter 2: The Chaos Theory of Christmas But Can She Drive a Sleigh?-- Shirley Temple Christmas, a Labor of Love-- Karen Scalf Linamen Lights, Camera...Too Much Action-- Jim Killam A So-Called Tree and Thee-- Charlene Ann Baumbich Dear Santa-- Debbie Farmer Merry Christmas (with Cramps)-- Jack Hayford Are You Sure the Wise Men Wore Turtlenecks?-- Martha Bolton It's Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Christmas-- Karen Scalf Linamen See Mother, Funny, Funny Mother-- Author unknown Chapter 3: The Gift of Christmas Separating the Men from the Boys-- Lee Daniel Quinn Things Never to Give Your Wife for Christmas-- Author unknown Things Never to Give Your Husband for Christmas-- Author unknown Don't Look a Gift Horse in the Slippers-- Lynn Bowen Walker What Goes Up Must Come Down-- Martha Bolton The Gift That Keeps On Giving (Unfortunately)-- Dave Meurer Christmas Shenanigans-- Robert Hansen Show Me the Money-- C. Ellen Watts Gifts That Make Mom a Packrat-- Martha Bolton Putting the "X" in X-mas-- Paul M. Hampton Gifts That Keep on Giving (Me a Headache)-- Patsy Clairmont Some Assembly Required (and a Little Prozac Wouldn't Hurt Either)-- Martha Bolton Gift-Giving Misgivings-- Tim Wildmon Chapter 4: Peas on Earth...and Other Tasty Holiday Tidbits Good Stuff(ing)-- Author unknown All Fired Up for the Ladies' Christmas Coffee-- Becky Freeman A Turkey of a Dinner-- Jana Kaumeyer Where's the Fire?-- Martha Bolton Baking Cookies? Bah! Humbug!-- Tina Krause 'Tis the Season-- G. Ron Darbee Holiday Memories-- Dale Hanson Bourke Is the Turkey Burned Yet?-- Martha Bolton The Call of the Popcorn-- Becky Freeman When Is a Leg Like an Ear?-- Mary Wanda Little Let There Be Peas on Earth-- Laura Jensen Walker Chapter 5: The Spirit of Christmas Just in Time for Christmas-- Johnny Carson No Wonder Jesus Loves the Little Children-- Christy Ehmann An Imperfect Christmas-- Dave Meurer Christmas without Grandma Kay-- Robin Jones Gunn We Two Kings...-- Martha Bolton A Christmas for One-- Dave Meurer The Last Gift-- Phil Callaway Chapter 6: Until Next Year... Make Every Day "Christmas"-- Charles Dickens The Secret to Foolproof Resolutions-- Karen Scalf Linamen 'Twas the Thirty Days after Christmas-- Charlene Ann Baumbich Contributors Source Notes
Jack Hayford was the founding pastor of the 12,000-member The Church On The Way which he pastored until recently, chancellor of the King's Seminary in Los Angeles, and president of The International Church of the Foursquare Gospel. He has written more than 36 books and 600 hymns and choruses. His daily radio and weekly television programs reach nationally and globally. This "Pastor to Pastors" now focuses his ministry chiefly on issues of church leadership and on expanded outreach to denominational and interdenominational gatherings at colleges, seminaries, parachurch and other organizations around the world. He and his wife, Anna, live near Los Angeles, California.- Publisher.
Martha Bolton is a full-time comedy writer and the author of more than 50 books, including Didnt My Skin Used to Fit? and most recently Your Best Nap Now: Seven Steps to Nodding Off at Your Full Potential. She was a staff writer for Bob Hope for 15 years and has written for Phyllis Diller, Wayne Newton's USO show, Ann Jillian, Jeff Allen, and many other entertainers. Her writing has appeared in Readers Digest, Chicken Soup for the Soul, and Brio magazine. She has received four Angel Awards and an Emmy nomination. Visit www.marthabolton.com
Patsy Clairmont comes from an uncommon background. Her years of suffering as a prisoner in her own home, a victim of agoraphobia, have given her a deep appreciation of God's healing power. God has pulled together the emotionally fragmented pieces of her life. From her emotionally troubled background God has combined her humor and her knowledge of His word to remind you that imperfect, "cracked" Christians are God's specialty.
Patsy now travels throughout the U.S. providing humor for the heart and hope for the healing. Currently, she is a speaker with the Women of Faith conferences, speaking to tens of thousands of women each month. In her eleven years with Women of Faith she has reached over 3 million women.
Patsy is also the author of the best-selling books God Uses Cracked Pots; Normal is Just a Setting on Your Dryer; Under His Wings; Sportin' a 'Tude; Tea with Patsy Clairmont and Pillow Prayers.