Shatterproof Your Marriage
Element #1 The Right Character Build all personal character based on things you can count on. The difference between carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide is actually very smalla - one atom. One gives life and the other kills. The extra...
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Element #1 The Right Character Build all personal character based on things you can count on. The difference between carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide is actually very smalla - one atom. One gives life and the other kills. The extra atom of oxygen is what makes the carbon dioxide compound essential for our blood to function properly. There are a total of 117 chemical elements, such as oxygen and hydrogen; various combinations of these basic elements make up our planet. These elements cannot be broken down into other chemical substances and maintain their properties. There are lots of chemical compounds in the universe, but a relatively limited number of elements. Some elements are far more common and vital than others, like oxygen, hydrogen and iron, for example. Without these more common elements, our survival would be in immediate jeopardy. Radium is an element that is not nearly so critical. It was used in the mid 1900s as paint for clocks and watches. What in the world does this have to do with marriage, you say? A lasting marriage is the same. After decades of being married myself and working as a marriage therapist, I have discovered three vital elements that have the properties necessary to create a shatterproof marriage. The first element, which we explore in the next several chapters, is personal character. The character you bring into your marriage sets you up to succeed or fail before you even get started. It is common for married couples to come into my counseling office and expect me to dive right in and fix things right away: Give them a couple tools, tell them what the problem is, and how to go home and make things better. Blaming and finger-pointing is also something I have to contend with, day in and day out. By far, the vast majority of people have not examined themselves well enough to see how their personal character impacts everything that goes on in their marriage. Rachel was just such a person. Just twenty-five, she had already been married several years and had a young daughter. Her husband, Jack, not unlike so many men these days, had become addicted to pornography. In his case, however, he would even injure himself with self-stimulation. This had a terrible effect on their physical intimacy, as she felt like he was always thinking of someone else. He also had a lot of unresolved issues from his childhood that he brought into their marriage. He shut down if there was conflict, did not help around the house, spent most of his free time on the computer, and tended to have explosive outbursts when he got angry. Both were regular churchgoers, although Jack was on the fringes of what church was all about. Rachel had good intentions and was reluctant to admit she wanted a divorce, but she was ready to walk out of the marriage by the time she made it into my office. Hurt, angry, dejected, and hopeless, all she could do was focus on how bad things had gotten between them. She had tried yelling, taking all the initiative in the marriage herself, biting her tongue. Nothing seemed to make any difference. Rachel was not smart enough or powerful enough to control the situation and get the result she so desperately wanted. Then a friend gave her a copy of this book. Within just the first few chapters, she realized that her own character was being put to the test. Instead of leaving, she decided she had to stay and fight for the marriage. She became quick to look first at herself before seeing Jack's faults. This one significant change was so noticeable it paved the way for Jack to start owning up to his own problems, which he did. Real change was now possible and beginning to happen. 1 See Opportunity in Adversity Whenever I feel the urge to exercise I lie down until it goes
The Road Map to a Marriage That Lasts and a Relationship That Loves Again
Did you ever have a day or moment when you felt that it was time to give up on your marriage? Is there anything you can do so divorce does not happen to you? Marriage and family therapist John T. Eckenwiler has been searching for answers that make sense for the thousands of couples he has counseled over the last twenty years. What he has discovered is that couples can work it out and save their marriages. He has identified three elements that, when absent from a relationship, make couples want to give up, and in this groundbreaking book, you and your spouse can assess and implement these key elements and rebuild your relationship.
The Shatterproof Program promises to:
Uncover the three key elements that can change your marriage forever
Help you grow a depth of love that many couples never experience
Leave no part of your marriage vulnerable
Arm you with all the critical relationship tools you'll ever need
Guarantee a revolutionized marriage in a few short months
No problem or life event is too big for your marriage. There is a way back to love and companionship. Loaded with specific advice based on Christian principles, thought-provoking exercises, and real-life case studies, Shatterproof Your Marriage redefines what it means to preserve a marriage and offers the hope, understanding, and tools to recognize, develop, and hone the three essential elements that make a marriage resilient, fulfilled, and most of all, lasting.