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Gentle wisdom and guidance for the parents of children who have lost a loved one in death
A book for parents of preschool and elementary-aged children who have lost a loved one in death, offering answers to their immediate questions and wisdom and guidance to parent their children successfully through their grief.
- Preface ... 11 Part 1: Tough Lessons About Life ... And Death ... 15 1. It Will Affect Them ... 19 How Can We Tell That Our Children Are Grieving? 20 What Can We Do Or Say? 22 How Long Will Grieving Take? 23 When Do Our Children Need Extra Help? 25 2. Most People Can't Talk About It . . 29 Why Are People Reluctant To Talk About The Deceased? 30 Why Is It Dangerous Not To Talk About Death? 32 What Should We Teach Our Children? 32 3. Troubles Come In Bundles ... 35 How Do These Troubles Affect Our Children? 38 What Should We Teach Our Children? 39 4. Life's Not Fair... 41 What About Sympathy? 42 What Should We Teach Our Children? 43 5. Grief Comes In Waves ... 45 How Is Grief Expressed In Children? 46 How Long Do The Waves Of Grief Keep Coming? 47 6. Good-bye Is Not Forever!... 49 What Does It Mean To Have Treasures In Heaven? 51 How Does God Plant Eternity In The Hearts Of Our Children? 52 Part 2: Tough Questions Parents Ask ... 55 7. What About Tears--theirs And Ours?... 58 Why Are We Afraid To Express Our Grief ? 59 What Is The Typical Grief Process? 60 What Are Age-typical Responses To Grief ? 63 What About Our Tears? 67 8. To Talk Or Not To Talk? ... 71 Why Is Communication Difficult? 72 Why Is Communication Necessary? 72 How Do We Help Our Children To Talk? 74 9. Their Curiosity, Our Pain? ... 76 How Does A Child Think? 77 What Are A Child's Basic Reactions To Grief, Based On Personality? 78 10. Should Children Attend The Services? ... 82 How Can We Encourage Our Children To Participate? 83 How Do We Respond To The Heart Of Our Children's Questions? 86 How Do We Help Our Children Say Good-bye? 87 11. To Remember Or To Forget? ... 92 Should Children Remember Or Forget? 93 How Do We Help Our Children Remember? 94 12. How Do We Pray? ... 97 How Can We Help Our Children Pray? 98 Part 3: Tough Questions Children Ask ... 101 13. What Happens When You Die? ... 104 What Do Children Say? 105 How Can We Help Our Children Understand? 107 What Does The Bible Say? 108 What Do Children Want And Need To Know? 110 What Is Normal Behavior As Children Tr Y To Understand? 112 14. When Can I Go To Heaven To Visit? ... 114 What Does The Bible Say? 115 What Can We Do Now? 115 15. What Is Heaven Like? ... 117 What Do Children Say? 117 What Does The Bible Say? 119 16. What Is Forever? ... 122 What Signs And Questions Show Us That Children Don't Understand? 123 How Can We Help Our Children Understand? 125 Part 4: Tough Questions Children Don't Ask ... 127 17. Did I Cause It? ... 131 How Do Children Express Deep Emotion? 132 How Can We Help Our Children Deal With Guilt? 134 18. If I Get Sick, Will I Die, Too? ... 136 What Behaviors Say Children Are Dealing With The Fear Of Dying? 137 What Can We Do To Help Our Children? 138 19. Will You Die And Leave Me, Too? ... 142 How Is Fear Of Abandonment Expressed In Children? 143 What Can We Do To Assure Our Children? 145 20. If I Talk About It, Will It Make You Sad?. .. . 148 Why Do Some Children Talk, While Others Are Silent? 149 How Do We Balance Children's Needs With Ours? 150 21. If I'm Naughty, Will You Die?... 153 Isn't It Good To Be Good? 154 What Do We Do With Our Bad Behavior? 156 Part 5: The Ultimate Question: Why? . ... 159 22. Why Would A Good God Allow This To Happen? . . 162 What Causes Us To Question God? 163 What Helps Us When We Don't Know Why? 166 Afterthoughts . ... 171 Resources ... 175 Notes... 183