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10 Great Dates Before You Say "I Do"

David ArpClaudia ArpCurt BrownNatelle Brown
10 Great Dates Before You Say "I Do"
sneak Peek

10 Great Dates Before You Say "I Do"

David ArpClaudia ArpCurt BrownNatelle Brown

$21.99

Paperback

The 10 GREAT DATES series provides a collection of fun, innovative relationship building activities that are guaranteed to revitalize your love life and strengthen your communication skills! Perfect for married or seriously dating couples.

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About "10 Great Dates Before You Say "I Do""

The 10 GREAT DATES series provides a collection of fun, innovative relationship building activities that are guaranteed to revitalize your love life and strengthen your communication skills! Perfect for married or seriously dating couples.
- Koorong

A unique approach featuring fun-filled dates to help seriously dating and engaged couples strengthen their relationship. Couples will soon discover whether or not to go to the next level of commitment, and will spend quality time together now while preparing for a great marriage in the future.
- Publisher

With the guidance found in this book, dating couples will soon discover whether to go to the next level of commitment, while preparing for a great marriage in the future. Each date's theme is based upon research of the best and most used marriage preparation topics, interpersonal inventories, and courses.
- Publisher

Fun, relationship-building dates for seriously dating and engaged couples Are we suited for each other? Should we become engaged? Imagine fun-filled dates that actually teach relationship skills you'll use once you're married. Want to learn about the differences between men and women while you peruse the shelves at the movie rental store? How about realizing your role in the marriage by planning and preparing a meal together? Like the format used in the Arps previous book, 10 Great Dates to Energize Your Marriage, a short date "launch" using the book primes the pump for a series of fun, enriching, and energizing dates. Couples will soon discover whether or not to go to the next level of commitment, and will spend quality time together now while preparing for a great marriage in the future. Each dates theme is based upon research of the best and most-used marriage preparation topics, interpersonal inventories, and courses. Counselors, clergy, and marriage counselors will use this book as an add-on resource in programs such as Foccus, Prepare, PREP, SYMBIS, and Marriage Savers. Couples will use 10 Great Dates before You Say "I Do" to practice the skills they're learning in these courses_and have a lot of fun doing it!
- Publisher

10 Fun, Innovative Relationship-Building Dates for Seriously Dating and Engaged Couples!10 Great Dates Before You Say 'I Do' combines the best of marriage preparation research with a fun, easy-to-follow format. Couples will love growing together while going out together. Share your hopes and dreamsAppreciate your differencesCommunicate and connectDevelop spiritual intimacyEvaluate your relationshipCelebrate romanceAnd more!
- Publisher

Meet the Authors

David Arp

Claudia and David Arp, MSW, cofounders of Marriage Alive, are educators, popular speakers, columnist, and award-winning authors of numerous books, including the 10 Great Dates series, "The Second Half of Marriage, Answering the 8 Cries of a Spirited Child", and "Loving Your Relatives". They have appeared as marriage experts on "NBC Today, CBS This Morning, Focus on the Family", and PBS television stations. They have been married forty years and live in Knoxville, Tennessee.

Claudia Arp

Claudia and David Arp, MSW, cofounders of Marriage Alive, are educators, popular speakers, columnist, and award-winning authors of numerous books, including the 10 Great Dates series, "The Second Half of Marriage, Answering the 8 Cries of a Spirited Child", and "Loving Your Relatives". They have appeared as marriage experts on "NBC Today, CBS This Morning, Focus on the Family", and PBS television stations. They have been married forty years and live in Knoxville, Tennessee.

Curt Brown

Curt and Natelle Brown, MA, MFT, are directors of marriage ministry at Wellshire Presbyterian Church in Denver, Colorado, and advisors to the Colorado Marriage Project. They are experienced mentors to engaged couples, marriage coaches to newlyweds, and developers of the Marriage Alive 'Before You Say 'I Do'' seminar.

Natelle Brown

Curt and Natelle Brown, MA, MFT, are directors of marriage ministry at Wellshire Presbyterian Church in Denver, Colorado, and advisors to the Colorado Marriage Project. They are experienced mentors to engaged couples, marriage coaches to newlyweds, and developers of the Marriage Alive 'Before You Say 'I Do'' seminar.

Excerpt

Excerpt from: 10 Great Dates Before You Say "I Do"

Date One Sharing Hopes, Dreams, and Expectations 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' Jeremiah 29:11 Let's listen to Hayley as she describes her recent date with Kevin: Our greatest date didn't start out so great. Kevin had said, 'Let's go over to the lake and watch the sunset.' But how can you watch a sunset when it's overcast and foggy? I thought. Kevin was so determined that I humored him. We got to the lake, and he pulled out a blanket and picnic basket. Was this guy really serious? There was no sun anywhere on the horizon; in fact, it was chilly. I felt weird trying to watch a sunset in the fog. Kevin was acting strange---really nervous. 'I'll be right back,' he said and disappeared. So I sat on this blanket all alone. A few couples walked by hand-in-hand and stared at me. I felt really stupid. This date was going downhill fast. And then I heard a commotion behind me. I turned around just in time to see a knight in a suit of armor riding a horse right toward me. As I looked more closely, I could see it was Kevin! He dismounted, and the next thing I knew he was on his knees asking me to marry him! Without a doubt, this was our greatest date yet! What has been your greatest date? Have you had a unique storybook date like Hayley and Kevin? Or maybe you have had lots of great dates and now are looking forward to having a fairy-tale wedding where you will both ride off into the sunset to be blissfully happy ever after. Sounds like the end of the story, doesn't it? Not so. Your wedding day will only be the beginning of the story of your marriage. A marriage is not a one-day event. Instead, marriage is a lifelong process of growing together and deepening your love for one another. It is facing life's trials together and pulling together in the good times as well as the bad. And, to be frank, marriage is not a fairy tale; it is more like the novel War and Peace. But the marriage relationship can be the most rewarding and fulfilling one you will ever know. And your greatest dates may be up ahead---after you're married! CONSIDERING MATRIMONY? Maybe like Hayley and Kevin, you've made the commitment to become engaged and are looking forward to getting married. Or maybe you are not engaged at this point but are wondering if you'd like to be. In either case, this date is going to help you look at your hopes and dreams for the future and better understand your expectations for marriage. Many couples who marry are incredulous when marriage turns out to be different from what they expected. We don't want to shatter your hopes and dreams, but we do want you to take a good look at your present relationship and your expectations for the future. Too many who are considering marriage answer positively the premarital inventory question, 'I expect my partner to change some of his/her behaviors after we marry.' Also it's important to note that every engaged couple does not end up marrying. One of the major purposes of marriage preparation is to help couples make a good decision about whether or not they are ready to be married to each other at this time. Couples who begin marriage preparation a year to eight months before marriage have a 15 to 17 percent rate of postponing or canceling the wedding if their preparation includes both an inventory and an educational program.1 The value of marriage preparation is having the opportunity to reexamine and reconfirm your decision to marry. In the following dates we want to help you look closer at your own decision to consider marriage or a more serious relationship and to better understand your own 'good match.' We will start that process on Date One by looking realistically at your own expectations. What We Expected We (the Arps) started marriage with stars in our eyes and a belief that we would surely always meet each other's needs. We got married in the middle of our college experience. The year was 1962. Our world was traumatized by the Cuban Missile Crisis. The Russian missiles were headed for Cuba, and the United States had its blockade in position. We were attending different colleges in different towns: Dave was in Atlanta at Georgia Tech; Claudia was in Athens at the University of Georgia. We were convinced if we didn't marry right away, the world would blow up and that we might never get to live together as husband and wife. So we did it. We got married without any premarital counseling, inventories, or any of the other helps available today. We were just going to live on our 'love.' Then when the honeymoon was over and our hormones settled down, we discovered that marriage was not quite what we expected. Little things irritated us. I (Dave) was raised in a military home and assumed Claudia would be as orderly as I was. One of our first arguments was about how to arrange the magazines on the coffee table. I wanted them at right angles. Claudia wanted them to look more informal and 'homey.' I kept putting them at right angles; Claudia kept changing them to 'her way.' And hangers should be one inch apart in the closet---or so I thought. Claudia assumed just hanging up the clothes was a big accomplishment. So we immediately realized we would need to do some compromising. When we (the Browns) were seriously dating and considering marriage, we just wanted to be together, and we never got around to discussing our expectations. We also married while still in college, and our unspoken expectations were based on the only marriages we knew well---those of our parents, which couldn't have been more different. I (Curt) expected Natelle to be a wonderful cook who would never use a mix! My mother served home-cooked meals precisely at 7 A.M., noon, and 6 P.M. She dusted and vacuumed daily. I always had a drawer full of clean socks and underwear, and my shirts and jeans were always freshly laundered and ironed. Naturally, I assumed Natelle would be as passionate about housekeeping as my mother was. (Save the rotten eggs---I changed my view long ago!) I (Natelle) had a totally different perspective. My mother was a high school English teacher and the first female high school principal in the state of Nebraska. She had worked outside the home since I was two years old. My dad enjoyed tinkering with the car, fixing leaky faucets, and hanging Christmas tree lights. He occasionally even helped with the cooking and was great with us kids. I assumed Curt would encourage me professionally and divide household chores equally. And, of course, he would be the handyman around the house just like my father was. After marriage it didn't take long for us to discover that we didn't exactly fit into the roles the other had hoped we would! What are your expectations for your marriage? Listen to what some others contemplating marriage expected: * I expect my partner to always understand and encourage me. * Our marriage will always make us happy. * After marriage, our problems will go away. * We will talk about everything, and therefore we will avoid serious disputes. * With two incomes, we will be financially secure---especially since two can live almost as cheaply as one. * We'll keep doing the same fun activities we presently do together. * Our love life will always be exciting and satisfying. * We will divide and conquer housework fifty-fifty. * I expect my mate to meet my needs---to be a lot like me. Obviously, these people were shocked when their mates were unable to live up to their expectations. It is really important that we talk about our expectations. It is hard enough to meet expectations when we know what they are, but it's impossible when we don't. What You Expect Do you identify with any of the comments above? On Date One you will have the opportunity to take our Expectation Survey and talk about what is really important to you.

Customer Reviews For "10 Great Dates Before You Say "I Do""

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Really fun journey!
5 stars By Raj, Jan 26 2018
I've walked through this book with several couples as they journeyed into marriage. Each chapter unveils different aspects of the married life, but from a very practical perspective. I think there are greater resources for indepth study, but for the breadth and accessibility, this one is the best. As each topic is set up as a 'date' with pre-reading required, it's fun to work through!
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A great gift
5 stars By Tikvah08, May 25 2017
The book is designed to be done as 10 dates. The author's kindly give hints as to what kind of date to go on - environment, atmosphere etc. Each 'date' covers a particularly important topic to discuss and work through before marriage. Everything from conflict resolution, commit, family, goals and finance is covered. And some very painful questions that MUST be asked. Our marriage is better because of this. After each date, you and your future spouse fill in some questions and review the answers at the next date.

I would recommend this before engagement if possible! We've gifted it to several couples over the past few years.
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helpful
5 stars By raj, Sep 15 2016
Really good help for pre marital ideas. A good range of topics addressing things many may not think about before marriage
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Awesome Marriage Preparation
5 stars By John and Mikaela, Jun 18 2007
We used "10 Great Dates before you say I DO" prior to and during engagement - It was most helpful in bringing out new aspects to topics already discussed from a totally different angle, and new topics altogether. Getting a Mentor Couple as it suggested - an experienced couple (married 15+years and who aren't your parents!) to have dinner with and discuss tough issues with was also enormously helpful for us. (Our Mentor couple were married 30+yrs with 3 adult children).

Focussing on building your relationship - not just preparing for a wedding - and really talking about lots of practical things make this a wonderful marriage preparation resource. We learned to talk and communicate better, the importance of making time for fun and dating, and the discipline of setting aside the "Great Date" times (including preparing the questions each time) were all really good for us and our relationship. 

Although we're both quite strong in our faith this book is suitable for people of all/mixed levels of faith too. Friends of ours who aren't 'religious' have found it really helpful for their relationship too.

We've recommendeded/bought it for at least 8 couples as engagement gifts. Thanks to Emma for spotting it and suggesting we might find it helpful! 

So if you are preparing for marriage - or are getting close to taking the next step in your relationship - we HIGHLY reccommend "10 Great Dates".

John (25) & Mikaela (27)...Married 7&1/2 months... :-)
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Product Details

Product Details
  • Catalogue Code 189325
  • Product Code 0310247322
  • EAN 9780310247326
  • UPC 025986247324
  • Pages 224
  • Department General Books
  • Category Relationships
  • Sub-Category Marriage Preparation
  • Publisher Zondervan
  • Publication Date Feb 2003
  • Sales Rank #1346
  • Dimensions 228 x 152 x 16 mm
  • Weight 0.235kg

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