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Teenage Guys

Teenage Guys
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Teenage Guys

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These two practical resources bring together the insights of counsellors and veteran youth workers, helping those in youth ministry to gain a thorough understanding of teenagers - their mental, physical, and social development, self-image, attitudes, sexuality, and spirituality.

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About "Teenage Guys"

These two practical resources bring together the insights of counsellors and veteran youth workers, helping those in youth ministry to gain a thorough understanding of teenagers - their mental, physical, and social development, self-image, attitudes, sexuality, and spirituality.
- Koorong

Youth workers need to fully understand the inner workings and development of adolescents in order to really meet their needs. In Teenage Guys, Dr. Steve Gerali presents the stages of development that adolescent guys go through, providing stories from his own experiences in ministry and counseling as well as practical research findings to equip youth workers (bothmale and female) to more effectively minister to teenage guys.With advice from counselors and veteran youth workers, you'll find helpful suggestions on how to minister to teenage guys and their families. Each chapter includes discussion questions to help you and other youth workers process the issues your own students face and learn how you can help them and mentor them through this tumultuous time. In addition to concepts like mentoring and rites of passage, Dr. Gerali also walks readers through the seven areas of development young guys go through.You'll understand more about: Cognitive development - Identity formation -Socia
- Publisher

Teenage Guys: Exploring Issues Adolescent Guys Face and Strategies to Help Them Copyright 2006 by Steve Gerali Youth Specialties products, 300 South Pierce Street, El Cajon, CA 92020 are published by Zondervan, 5300 Patterson Avenue Southeast, Grand Rapids, MI 49530. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Gerali, Steve. Teenage guys : exploring the issues that adolescent guys face and the strategies to help them / by Steve Gerali. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references. ISBN-10: 0-310-26985-7 (pbk.) ISBN-13: 978-0-310-26985-4 (pbk.) 1. Church work with teenagers. 2. Teenage boys. 3. Adolescence. I. Title. BV4447.G46 2006 259'.23--dc22 2006000896 Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible: New International Version (North American Edition). Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other (except for brief quotations in printed reviews) without the prior permission of the publisher. Web site addresses listed in this book were current at the time of publication. Please contact Youth Specialties via e-mail (YS@YouthSpecialties.com) to report URLs that are no longer operational and replacement URLs if available. Creative Team: Dave Urbanski, Laura Gross, Heather Haggerty, Janie Wilkerson, and Mark Novelli Cover design by Burnkit Printed in the United States 06 07 08 09 10 - 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 SECTION ONE MALE ADOLESCENCE I'd just finished speaking to parents of teenagers at a church-sponsored seminar when a very determined, seemingly panic-stricken mother hightailed it down the aisle to reach me before anyone else could. I knew she was stressed because she nearly plowed over some people on the way. When she reached my side, she looked fatigued and her voice was many decibels louder than normal. (I wondered for a moment if she thought I was deaf.) But I soon discovered this dear woman's plight. "I need help!" she blurted before disclosing to me that she was the mother of four boys-ages two to 13. (It immediately began to make sense to me.) She described how her oldest son used to be a sweet little boy, but now he was changing. She drew parallels between him and her two-year-old, describing the many similarities between a child in the terrible twos and a child in the-her term for it-"terrible teens." She bombarded me with more questions than I could answer. Finally, she said, "I don't understand how teenage boys work; I wish my boy came with a user's manual." "So you need to know how your teenage boy is wired?" I asked jokingly. She quickly affirmed my observation and added that she was concerned that his wiring may be malfunctioning. This mother wanted her teenage son's user's manual to include an explanation of his wiring, tips on how to detect if and when the wiring goes bad, and instructions for how to rewire her son, if possible. Guys are wired differently than girls from the beginning. But when adolescence sets in, it can appear as though their wiring has gone bad. In reality, it may be just a normal phase of growth. While they don't come with user's manuals, these days we have a better understanding of what makes a guy uniquely masculine and how to help him navigate through the storm and stress of adolescence and on into manhood. STORM AND STRESS OF MALE ADOLESCENCE The science of adolescence is a relatively new phenomenon, but adolescence has been recognized-although misunderstood-throughout history. The earlie
- Publisher

Meet the Author

Steve Gerali

Dr. Steven Gerali is a speaker, professor, and counselor who is recognized around the world as an expert in the field of adolescence and youth ministry. He's the author of Teenage Guys and two books for students. Before becoming a professor of youth ministry Steve served for more than 25 years as pastor of student ministries in churches in Arizona and Illinois. The father of two grown daughters, Steve currently lives in southern California with his wife, Jan.

Table Of Contents

  • Contents
  • Adolescent Guys: Never A Dull Moment
  • Section 1: Male Adolescence
  • 1.1 Understanding Male Adolescence 18
  • Storm And Stress Of Male Adolescence 19
  • Age Ranges Within Adolescence 22
  • Developmental Tasks 25
  • A Holistic Approach To Adolescence 26
  • 1.2 What Guys Need 31
  • Section 2: The Teenage Guy's Body (physical Development)
  • 2.1 The Male Body 40
  • Adolescent Guys Are Very Body Conscious 41
  • Fascination With Function 42
  • When Puberty Strikes 43
  • Manifestations Of Male Puberty 45
  • 2.2 Secondary Sex Characteristics 47
  • The Growth Spurt 51
  • 2.3 Primary Sex Characteristics 60
  • The Time Has Come... 61
  • Internal Reproductive Development 66
  • Section 3: The Teenage Guy's Sexuality (sexual Identity Development)
  • 3.1 Guys And Sex 74
  • Testosterone: Superhuman Hormone Or Poison Potion? 74
  • Identity And Messages Of Virility 79
  • Sex On The Brain 90
  • Sex As A Rite Of Passage 92
  • 3.2 Guys And Homosexuality 95
  • For Clarity's Sake 97
  • Getting On The Same Page 97
  • Understand The Dilemma 99
  • Coming Out 101
  • Acts Of Desperation 103
  • Destructive Behavior 105
  • Helping A Homosexual Teenage Guy 106
  • Section 4: The Teenage Guy's Emotions (emotional Development)
  • 4.1 Emotional Myths That Infl Uence Guys 112
  • Emotional Development 114
  • Myths About Emotions 115
  • 4.2 Emotionally Abandoned Guys 124
  • Being A Father To The Fatherless 124
  • Practical Theology 126
  • 4.3 Anger, Depression, And Suicide 136
  • The Triple Jeopardy Effect 136
  • Depression 140
  • Suicide 145
  • Why Do Teenage Guys Attempt And Commit Suicide? 146
  • 4.4 Aggression And Violence 153
  • Raising Cain 156
  • Emotional And Psychological Problems 162
  • Section 5: The Teenage Guy's Mind (intellectual Development)
  • 5.1 A Guy's Brain 166
  • Brain Growth 166
  • Communication And Brain Difference 171
  • Spatial Function 174
  • Other 'guy Brain' Functions 175
  • 5.2 From Concrete To Idealism 177
  • Stage #1---concrete 177
  • Stage #2---abstract 182
  • Stage #3---ideal 188
  • 5.3 Learning Problems 191
  • Detecting A Learning Problem 194
  • Ministry And Mentoring Tips 195
  • Section 6: The Teenage Guy's Family And Friends (social Development)
  • 6.1 Male Identity Development 200
  • Biological Factors 201
  • Masculine Identity Theory 202
  • Father Wound 206
  • Personal Identity 207
  • 6.2 How Relationships Shape Guys 211
  • Task #1---identity Development 212
  • Task #2---intimacy Development 214
  • 6.3 Guys And Family 233
  • You Can't Choose Your Relatives 234
  • Guys And Fathers 235
  • Guys And Mothers 243
  • 6.4 Rites Of Passage: Blessing 249
  • The Importance Of Rites Of Passage 251
  • Section 7: The Teenage Guy's Spirituality (faith Formation)
  • 7.1 Spirituality 260
  • Spirituality And Masculinity 261
  • Spirituality Isn't Male Or Female 266
  • Faith Formation 267
  • Archetypes Of Faith Formation 270
  • Stages Of Spiritual Development 271
  • Guys Have Spiritual Needs 277
  • Appendix A: More On Guys' Physiology 279
  • Appendix B: Physical Problems Adolescent Guys Face 285
  • Appendix C: Guys And Sexually Transmitted Diseases 301
  • Notes

Excerpt

Excerpt from: Teenage Guys

SECTION ONE MALE ADOLESCENCE I'd just finished speaking to parents of teenagers at a church-sponsored seminar when a very determined, seemingly panic-stricken mother hightailed it down the aisle to reach me before anyone else could. I knew she was stressed because she nearly plowed over some people on the way. When she reached my side, she looked fatigued and her voice was many decibels louder than normal. (I wondered for a moment if she thought I was deaf.) But I soon discovered this dear woman's plight. 'I need help!' she blurted before disclosing to me that she was the mother of four boys---ages two to 13. (It immediately began to make sense to me.) She described how her oldest son used to be a sweet little boy, but now he was changing. She drew parallels between him and her two-year-old, describing the many similarities between a child in the terrible twos and a child in the---her term for it---'terrible teens.' She bombarded me with more questions than I could answer. Finally, she said, 'I don't understand how teenage boys work; I wish my boy came with a user's manual.' 'So you need to know how your teenage boy is wired?' I asked jokingly. She quickly affirmed my observation and added that she was concerned that his wiring may be malfunctioning. This mother wanted her teenage son's user's manual to include an explanation of his wiring, tips on how to detect if and when the wiring goes bad, and instructions for how to rewire her son, if possible. Guys are wired differently than girls from the beginning. But when adolescence sets in, it can appear as though their wiring has gone bad. In reality, it may be just a normal phase of growth. While they don't come with user's manuals, these days we have a better understanding of what makes a guy uniquely masculine and how to help him navigate through the storm and stress of adolescence and on into manhood. STORM AND STRESS OF MALE ADOLESCENCE The science of adolescence is a relatively new phenomenon, but adolescence has been recognized---although misunderstood---throughout history. The earliest records we have about adolescent boys are observations Aristotle made about the young adolescent males who were his proteges. He saw them as egocentric, idealistic, passionate, quick-tempered and easily angered, impulsive, overly optimistic, gullible, lacking self-control, and driven by their sexual desires. He also observed the strong, intimate connectedness---or brotherhood---they formed with their friends, which he noted was unlike any other period in a man's life (throughout childhood or maturity). He recognized that they were developing cognitively and entering into more advanced thinking stages. This led him to say, 'They think they know everything.'1 Aristotle believed that adolescent boys 'carry everything too far: they love to excess, they hate to excess---and so in all else.'2 He wasn't too far off the mark in his observations. And they shaped Aristotle's instructional approach with adolescent males---one that fostered ethical and moral choice and self-determination. But while these distinctives were recognized, it wasn't until the Industrial Age that adolescence emerged as a distinct, formative life stage. In 1902 developmental psychologist G. Stanley Hall published Adolescence: Its Psychology and Its Relations to Physiology, Anthropology, Sociology, Sex, Crime, Religion and Education. Hall became known as the 'father of adolescence' because he identified the developmental issues that create a transition from childhood to adulthood. He recognized and popularized adolescence as a formative stage in the developmental life span of an individual from ages 11 to 22. Prior to Hall's pioneering work, the world viewed people as children until they could sire children of their own. The physiological phenomenon of puberty immediately made a boy a man. Hall theorized that the physical factors of puberty started a series of physical, psychological, and sociological changes that distinguished passive, effeminate boys into more assertive men. While not always evidenced outwardly, this internal aggressive shift in the makeup of boys into men was what Hall identified as 'Sturm und Drang' or storm and stress. The onset of this transitioning period was marked by puberty. (As a basic point of clarification, puberty is not adolescence. It's the event that marks the beginning of the developmental life span called 'adolescence.') In Hall's era, puberty often began around the age of 11. Hall believed adolescence ended with the autonomy of the individual. This was marked by adult-like accomplishments such as marriage, starting a family, financial independence, acts of bravery and/or leadership, pursuing a career, and so on. Hall believed this most likely occurred around the age of 22 or 23. When a boy successfully navigated through the storm and stress of adolescence, he emerged at the other end a stable, autonomous man. If we applied Hall's lines of definition to adolescence today, we'd have some problems. Puberty is starting earlier for most guys. They still begin puberty later than girls do, but most guys begin physically changing at age nine or 10. And at the other end, at ages 22 and 23, most people aren't ready or able to be financially autonomous yet (due to various POSSIBLE CONTRIBUTING FACTORS TO THE EARLIER ONSET OF PUBERTY IN GUYS IN THE 21ST CENTURY: View 1: We are healthier than the generations before us. We are more aware of diet and exercise and have made our children more aware of the same issues. Medical advancements have also put us in a more healthy position. This may allow the human body to develop at a less hindered rate, making puberty come earlier than in past eras. View 2: While we may be healthier, we scientifically alter our food to preserve it longer or enhance its growth and qualities. Yet these chemicals may affect the onset of puberty, accelerating it at an unhealthy rate before its intended time. View 3: Puberty is triggered by the release of hormones through the endocrine system that is primarily controlled by the hypothalamus and pituitary gland in the brain. Some believe a child's brain is stimulated to interact as an adult in certain situations, through socioeconomic factors). They're not settled into their careers, nor are they ready to start a family. Adult behaviors blur even more with technological advancements, leaving very little room for rites of passage in Western culture. Guys engage in video games and have access to adult-rated DVDs and online adult Web sites that expose them to adult sexual behaviors. They own and operate cell phones, computers, and personal handheld computers that give them the privileges and freedoms of adults without the usual responsibilities. Many parents fail to exercise parental controls over this technology. Or worse, even if the parents do implement some controls, teenage guys can find ways to get around them because they're more techno-savvy than their parents. As a result, teenagers are experiencing adult behaviors earlier, but they're still hindered from autonomous adult living. In short, if we followed Hall's definition, then adolescence would run from ages nine to 35, give or take a few years. So for all practical purposes, today's social science community recognizes the years of adolescence as ranging from age 11 or 12 to age 22 or 23. We will use this timeline throughout the book (see fig. 1): media exposure and life events.

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Product Details

Product Details
  • Catalogue Code 241891
  • Product Code 0310269857
  • EAN 9780310269854
  • UPC 025986269852
  • Pages 320
  • Department Ministry
  • Category Youth Ministry
  • Sub-Category Youth Leaders
  • Publisher Zondervan
  • Publication Date May 2006
  • Sales Rank #18500
  • Dimensions 228 x 152 x 22 mm
  • Weight 0.371kg

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